Not to sound pessimistic, but the apocalypse is feeling closer and closer these days, isn’t it?
Whether the result of a zombie infestation à la The Walking Dead, nuclear warfare triggered by certain fingers given access to big red buttons, or some other catastrophe, civilization as we know it is bound to end sooner or later.
Of course, we hope that’s not the case. But inspired by all the movies and literature we’ve been consuming in preparation, we decided it’s never too early to start assembling your team of resilient survivors for when the modern world comes crashing down. You want some muscle, of course—someone with the brute strength to fend off any murderous marauders or peckish zombies giving you the business. An Eagle Scout’s outdoor survival skills are certainly called for, because Siri won’t be every time we need directions or have a question about which berries are going to poison us. And don’t forget your friendly neighborhood copywriter.
That’s right: if you want to survive the apocalypse, you’re going to want a copywriter on your team. Sure, we might not be the obvious choice, but hear us out! Fast thinkers and masters of persuasion, copywriters are invaluable in a crisis. We also possess incredible mental stamina and superhuman powers of endurance, making us a critical addition to any ragtag team traversing Fury Road (and to any team that wants to succeed). Here’s why…
We think on our feet
Copywriters constantly come up with creative new ways to approach a topic: it’s in our job description. Even when it seems like nothing new can possibly be brought to the table, a good copywriter will inevitably come up with something fresh.
Our ability to think quickly makes us excellent problem-solvers. We have a knack for finding solutions to tricky content marketing conundrums, and our brainstorming skills are second to none (if we do say so ourselves).
When the apocalypse hits, fast-thinking and a knack for getting out of hairy situations may just save your life. On top of that, creativity will be worth its weight in gold when we’re all figuring out how to make the most of any and all available resources in the wasteland. It might be a while before our writing prowess is needed again, unless there’s call to write a particularly ominous warning sign to fellow survivors (believe us, we can do better than The Walking Dead‘s infamous “Don’t Dead Open Inside”). But you know the best thing about copywriters? Our skills are transferable.
We’re masters of persuasion
If you’ve ever felt compelled to hit subscribe or make a purchase after reading a page of beautifully crafted website copy, then you’ve experienced first-hand the persuasive power of a copywriter. Copywriters understand better than anyone how to achieve a certain outcome through the use of language. And that’s something we’ll all need while negotiating for vital resources, or talking our way out of a cannibal’s net.
With a copywriter on your team, your band of post-apocalyptic survivors can harness the power of words to win the road warriors over, secure the supplies needed to survive, and avoid resolving conflicts in the Thunderdome. We’re writers, not fighters.
We’ve got the mental stamina to make it to the end (and beyond)
Sitting in front of a keyboard all day might not seem like a sport of endurance. But the fact is, a copywriter’s mind is hard-wired to produce top-notch copy and content for hours on end. We never tire of coming up with new strategies, and somehow manage to add pizzazz to even the most straight-laced of topics (legal copywriting, for example). With extraordinary mental stamina and an inexhaustible well of creativity at our disposal, copywriters are clear thinkers, even (and especially) in a crisis.
Unlike other members of your survival team, a copywriter won’t succumb to exhaustion after a few weeks of post-apocalyptic life. We’ll always be there to rally the troops with a flawlessly constructed speech when things seem darkest. And when a threat presents itself (like a radioactive zombie making a beeline for your fleshiest parts), you can rest assured we’ll keep our heads.
Grab a copywriter, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all this to blow over…
To summarize, a copywriter will get you through just about anything. And when you feel like giving up after months of hopelessly wandering the wasteland, your copywriter friend will crack a well-timed joke and you’ll find yourself thinking that perhaps things aren’t so bleak after all. Of course, our skills are just as valuable now, while there’s still a world left to market to.
Looking for a copywriter to bring along for the ride at the end of the world? (Or, you know, just one to provide great copywriting services before that happens.) Contact us today, and find out just how versatile our skills really are.
